Episode 3 — You Have a Voice. You Always Did.

Somewhere along the way, you stopped believing that what you have to say actually matters. Not because it wasn't true. But because you were interrupted, dismissed, talked over, and made to feel like your feelings were an inconvenience - enough times that silence started to feel safer than speaking.

In this episode, Cherie gets honest about why so many women reach that place, what it quietly costs us every time we edit the real thought before it reaches our lips, and what it looks like to find your way back to yourself.

Your voice was never the problem. And it was never actually gone.

This is your reminder that it's safe to use it.

Check out The Sassy Hotline.

If this episode made you feel a little more you… share it with someone who needs it too.

Follow Own Your SASS so you don’t miss what’s next.

I’m Cherie Faus-Smith, and I create bold, safe & supportive spaces where women are heard; not fixed.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey sassy friend, let me tell you something because around here we don't skip the important parts. I want to ask you something, and I need you to really hear the question before you answer it. Do you believe that what you have to say actually matters? Not in theory, not the answer you'd give if someone was watching. Actually, in the quiet, in the honest part of yourself, that you don't always let people see. Do you believe your voice is worth using? Because if I'm being real with you, a lot of women would answer that with silence. Not because they don't have anything to say, but because somewhere along the way they stopped believing anyone actually wanted to hear it. And that's the part that breaks my heart. Maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe you're the woman who has a thought in a meeting and talks herself out of it before it even reaches your lips. Maybe you're the woman who rehearses a conversation a hundred times in her head and then says nothing. Maybe you're the woman who has been carrying something, a feeling, a truth, a need for so long that you've almost convinced yourself it doesn't exist anymore. Maybe you've said, I'm fine so many times that you've stopped checking whether or not it's actually true. And maybe the scariest part of all of this is that you're not even sure what you would say if someone actually gave you the space to say it. Because it's been that long. I know what that feels like. There was a time in my life where I had completely lost touch with my own voice. Not because I was quiet by nature. Anyone who knows me will tell you quiet has never really been my thing. But there's a difference between making noise and actually being heard. And for a long time, I was making a lot of noise while saying absolutely nothing real. I was performing, filling the silence with words that kept everyone comfortable and kept me safe. Because the real things, the true things, felt too risky to say out loud. What if nobody believed me? What if they dismissed it? What if saying the real thing made everything worse? So I kept the real things inside. And I got really good at speaking without ever actually saying anything, until I couldn't do it anymore, until the weight of all the unspoken things became heavier than the fear of saying them. And that's when I found my voice again. Not all at once, not in one big dramatic moment, but slowly, quietly, one true thing at a time. So why does this happen then, Sherry? Why do so many women reach a point where they genuinely don't believe that what they have to say is worth hearing? Because we were shown that early. We were interrupted and talked over and told we were being true dramatic. We were dismissed and minimized and made to feel like our feelings were an inconvenience. We shared something real and someone made us regret it. We spoke up and nothing changed. Or worse, something did change and not in a good way. So we learned. We learned that our voice created problems, that speaking up cost us something. And we made a decision, maybe consciously, maybe not, that it was safer to stay quiet. That silence was easier than the risk of saying the real thing and having it land wrong. But here's what silence actually costs you. It costs you yourself. Every time you swallow something true, every time you edit the real thought before it reaches your lips, every time you say, it's fine when it's really not, you send yourself a message. You tell yourself that you don't matter enough to be heard. And you hear that message, even when you're not listening, even when you're not aware of it, it settles into you. And over time it becomes what you believe. But here's what I know to be true. Your voice was never actually gone. It was just buried under years of adjusting and editing and making yourself easier to be around. It's still there. It has always been there. Waiting patiently for you to remember that it was worth something, because it is. What you think matters, what you feel matters, what you need matters, what you have to say, even the messy, unfinished, imperfect version of it matters. Not because you've earned it, not because you've proven yourself, not because you finally said the right things in the right order to the right people, but because you are here and being here is enough. Your voice is not something you have to earn. It was yours the moment you arrived. They just convinced you otherwise. So today, I'm not going to give you a homework assignment. I'm not going to tell you you have to go have the hard conversation or say the thing you've been holding. I just want you to sit with this. The idea that your voice was never the problem. The idea that you were never too much. The idea that somewhere inside you, underneath all the adjusting and the editing and the years of making yourself smaller, there is a woman with something real to say. And she has been waiting for someone to tell her that it's safe to say it. So consider this your reminder. It's safe, you're allowed, and we're listening. And before you go, I want to tell you about something I created specifically for this moment. That thing you're feeling right now, that thing that got stirred up while you were listening. Maybe it's something you've never said out loud. Maybe it's something you've been carrying for a while. Maybe it's just a feeling you can't quite name yet, but it's there, sitting in your chest, waiting for somewhere safe to land. I created the sassy hotline for exactly that. Here's how it works: you send me a voice message on Boxer, and I listen. That's it. No advice, no fixing, no judgment, no one telling you what you should have done or how you should feel about it. Just you finally saying the thing and someone on the other end actually hearing it. Because that's what this whole space is about. You don't need to be fixed, you just need to be heard. The link is in the show notes. Whenever you're ready, sassy friend. And that's where we'll land today. I hope something in this episode made you feel a little braver, a little clearer, a little more like you. Because that's all this is, really. Me sitting with you, reminding you that your voice matters, your feelings make sense, and you don't have to shrink yourself to fit into anyone else's comfort zone. Not anymore. If today's episode stirred something in you, share it with a woman who needs to hear it. She's out there waiting for exactly this. And if you're ready to be heard, not fixed, not coached, not advised, just heard, you know where to find me. I am Sherry Fowl Smith. This is Own Your Sass. And sassy friend, you belong here.